Musings News, views, and inspiration from The Urban Muse

Mutuality in Motherhood

Posted by Shelagh in SpaWellness on 05/14/12 | 0 Comments

As the mother of four teenagers, I didn’t know what to expect on Mother’s Day morning. Would they sleep until noon as per usual on the weekend or would there be breakfast in bed for Mom? Would there be store bought sentiments’ written by Hallmark or hand-crafted notes that we mom’s treasure? Would they remember my day at all or celebrate me in a haphazard manner with a lukewarm hug and a “love ya Ma”?

We go through our day-to-day mothering tasks loving our children immeasurably, striving to make a difference in their lives, teaching a life lesson or making an ethical question clear. We worry when they’re late; Cry at their heartaches; Support them through their mistakes; And celebrate their successes.  And through it all, expect nothing in return. But sometimes we wonder, “Do you see me? Do you hear me? Do you love me? Is the feeling mutual? ”

Mutuality in any relationship means equality, trust and respect. It's a healthy boundary. How can you know that you have mutuality in your relationships? Ask these questions:

1. Do I feel respected?
2. Do I feel supported emotionally?
3. Do I feel loved unconditionally? 

If your answers were anything other then a resounding YES, it's time to evaluate your relationship(s).

The banging and clanging heard in the kitchen at 7am gave me my answers as they soon came barreling into my bedroom with a breakfast fit for a queen and hand-crafted cards with well thought out love notes for me, Mom. Although they went back to bed until noon, my day had been made by the love of four people who matter more to me than anything else in the world, and apparently, the feeling is mutual!

A Parents Challenge with Teen Sexuality

Posted by Shelagh in SpaWellness on 05/07/12 | 0 Comments

I am the parent of four teenagers. Anyone who knows me knows that I take this role seriously. I have a parenting coach and an “A” team of parenting comrades, whose opinions I respect when challenging parenting issues arise. But like you, even as a life learner, I have lots more to learn!

Recently I had a client ask my advice on a parenting issue: “Is it OK to contact a parent if you witness their child behaving disrespectful?” In this case, it happened to be a young girl from her former Girl Scout troop involved in a major ‘PDA’ in the middle of the town square with all of their eighth grade classmates watching. Ahhh, a ‘loaded’ question!

I’ve learned that next to drug & alcohol abuse, the teen issue of sexuality can be equally charged emotionally and raises fear in the hearts of many parents of teenagers. Sexuality is the #1 issue many adults are uncomfortable discussing, let alone discussing with their teens. And yet, we are charged with guiding them through this tumultuous aspect of humanity. Sexuality is a normal and important aspect of human development. With guidance, a teen will develop a healthy sense of self worth to exhibit healthy boundaries in expressing their blooming sexuality respectfully. Unfortunately, without guidance, a teen will behave impulsively in expressing their sexuality in a manner that is disrespectful to themselves and to others.

How did I advise my client?

1.       Read. Knowledge is power and eradicates fear

2.       Attend talks & workshops on teenage behavior and sexuality

3.       Talk with other parents of teens whom you admire

4.       Be a role model with your own behavior

Our central role in parenting is to impart a healthy sense of self esteem in our children for healthy boundaries around all issues, including sexuality, one area where we can have a significant impact or none at all.

80 Acres Bodycare line

Posted by Kristin in Retail on 05/02/12 | 0 Comments

The Urban Muse is proud to introduce 80 Acres body care line.  It is an amazing addition to our offerings, and fits in with our themes almost perfectly.

The 80 Acres line is named for its point of origin, McEvoy Ranch in Petaluma, CA.  The products of 80 Acres fit in with the holistic wellness theme of our store and spa, featuring nothing but A-certified organic olive-oils, all natural plant extracts, and a rich variety of botanically-sourced ingredients.  The 80 Acres body care products are paraben, sulfate and phthalates free.  And just for good measure, they make every effort to use recycled packaging whenever possible.

McEvoy Ranch, like The Urban Muse and you, cares deeply about our planet.  They even operate a wind turbine designed to handle 100% of their energy needs.  We are proud to welcome them into our family of natural, earth-friendly products. 

Come visit The Urban Muse to sample this, as well as our other fresh products.

Do the Right Thing

Posted by Shelagh in SpaWellness on 04/30/12 | 0 Comments

The other day as I was tending to my garden, I noticed some neighborhood teens—young adults actually---smashing a balloon caricature that had been placed in an unsupervised area as a directional marker for a child’s birthday party. The boys had no idea that I was an observer to their actions.

After I gave them a stern speech and dismissed them, I got to thinking about injustice, locally and globally.  Injustice is sneaky and tends to happen when no one is watching.  It’s a form of cheating.

Character is the art of doing the right thing even when no one is watching. It requires courage, integrity and personal honor. 

Whether it’s respecting people or property, making healthy food choices for yourself, doing your daily ‘work’ or your fitness routine, don’t cheat.  Have the courage to honor your ‘self’---body, mind & spirit---because you are watching you. Here are a few action steps: 

• If you observe an injustice, have the courage to speak up with an “I” message
• Do the right thing even when no one sees you or gives you credit
• Surround yourself with people who display character in their daily lives

Let’s Disconnect to Connect

Posted by Shelagh in SpaWellness on 04/23/12 | 0 Comments

Recently I have had several conversations with people mentioning how bothered they are by our reliance on technology. Look around and notice someone walking on the street. Chances are their eyes are cast downward monitoring their hand-held device, their fingers are furiously typing on the tiny keys and their earphones are in their ears. And who hasn’t had the experience of having a face-to-face conversation with another, only to be distracted by the ding-ding or ‘kerplunk’ of a message being delivered? We are more connected to the world and less connected to each other resulting in a culture that is isolated, fragmented and detached in a time when community and attachment are critical for our survival.

Attention is a building block of intimacy, wisdom and cultural progress.  To pay attention, we have to be present and aware. How can we strengthen our focus and attention skills today for a more connected, aware and present tomorrow?

Here are a few small steps to take action today:

1.       Schedule ‘device-free’ time every day

2.       Create ‘sacred spaces’ in your home as ‘device-free zones’: the kitchen, the bathroom

3.       Carry out face-to-face conversations with devices on silent

Human connection and intimacy are essential to our wellness and well-being. Let’s turn off, unplug, look up, look at one another, and start the conversation.